ok so we all know that my grandpa died on the 29th of june

well i am doing a little better i still miss him a lot. grandma is doing ok-ish she has walking pneumonia right now but she is taking meds for it so hopefully she will get better soon. zakk and i are slowly moving our things over to her house mostly just clothes and gaming systems.

we plan on really helping grandma fix up the house. get new carpeting, paint the rooms and all that noise. i think i've pretty much decided what color i want to paint the room zakk an i will be sleeping in, which was grandpa's room it's the coldest one in the house . i t was cold before he died.with my sister's birthday and mine and zakks first wedding anniversaries coming up it's going to be a real busy month. i dunno if i am looking forward to it or not. it is exciting to be out of mom and dad's house, but its also a lil scary, but atleast we're jsut halfing all the bills with grandma , so we should be good i just hope everyone knows that if they want to come over, do it just call or text me before hand to make sure i ain't sleeping or working

anyways that's pretty much all that is going on we're just picking up our lives and moving on grandpa would be pissed if we just sat around and moped all damn day

well this month went to fucking hell near the end.
yes i got to see a new movie that was fun to wach

but then oh the things that happened
thurs june 25th my cousin kale died of complications from heat stroke. ok well i cried and i was sad because i loved my cousin we weren't super close but he was family.


then monday the 29th a page from my book of nightmares came true. my grandpa died.grandpa he died i guess from his heart giving out on him , he had COPD and was also battling pneumonia and his heart just couldn't take it anymore. his death i am not dealing with so good. i was really close to my grandpa and i love him and i miss him so much, but i am moving in with my grandma and just picking up the pieces and trying to put myself back together. unfortunatly though we had to push our trip back to thanksgiving

oh well i'm sure with time i'll get over it but right now it's just hard really very hard

GO SEE IT IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE LAME!!!!

it is fucking awesome i just saw it last night zakk was feeling better he's recently been sick . we were both still coughing but we bought the tickets ahead of time and well whatever and yes soundwave is in it and plays a very important part most USEFUL decepticon ever seriously

no really i do the trees are budding and the daffodils are blooming. i am so happy right now. last month totally sucked
zakk's grandad died :< and an entire shit storm followed (as it always does in the game of life)

anyways work sucks and i hate my job. I'm knocking myself down to part-time. i figure if i get abotu 50-60hrs zakk and i will be fine we got 60hrs this paycheck and we were able to pay our cellphone bill,carpayment, and even pay for half the groceries in my house and still had a couple hundred left to play with so thats good.'

so while we're doing that we're going to be looking for colleges to go to so we can gets mo moneys. i want to do online course but zakk doesn't so oh well whatever.

i want to go into game design which means i need to amp up my art. i'm going into overdrive baybeh.

i also learned to drive a stick shift , i'm still a little rough with it btu i pretty much got everything down. its really scary to drive especially on hills because it starts rolling backwards so you have to like floor it.

and to top everything off i learned to play magic the gathering
its so much fun
we go and play with a few friends of ours at work its great i fucking love it.

so i've started making the polymer clay charms they're in my gallery they're all for sale just note me for a price i guess.
i finally got back in the groove of drawing. i guess its because i've been so emotional lately. i hate this time of year between winter and spring i always get so depressed. i guess its just because of the lack of sunshine and greenery. its so depressing and desolate outside . i feel like crying. gawd i could never live in a forever wintry place. gotta hae my sunlight and flowers. even if i do hate the sunlight.

my parents car blew so now we're getting a new one. i actually have a semblance of credit now


i'm taking some days during spring break off mm that will be nice
hey i'm planning a trip to mitsuwa then, we'll probably all end up taking 2 cars ( i wish i had a van sometimes) because i plan on taking shae with me as an early birthday present. i'm also taking cheyann to zao island probably the day before that but thats like right in valpo but hey if anyone wants to join us there i'm down with that just call me or message me or whatever.

lets all hope spring gets its ass here to indiana already i'm fucking tired of winter